Ok.

So we had the brilliant Matt Corby on our radio show for Like A Version and it was very very good and you can listen to it here if you so wish.

You really should. It was killer.

After all the chatting/music business, as is tradition, Matt, Alex and myself took a photo together to mark the lovely occasion. I noticed that Matt had brought his sunglasses into the studio. Simply for a bit of colour and movement, for a bit of amusement, for a bit of joy de vivre, for a bit of zAnY KOH-medy, I incorporated said sunglasses into said photo.

Normally I look super hot and buff and cute and funny in these photos, but in this instance, positioned only a few centimetres from one of the most handsome and talented people we’ve ever had on the show, I appear to be an amateur magic enthusiast from the 90s who has been photoshopped into a photo with two nice people smiling normally.

Upon seeing this photo and my cringe-inducing pose, triple j lunch presenter and Cronulla resident Lewi McKirdy remarked:

“Wow, Ballard; looking pretty kewl!”

Then this happened:

and this:

And then heaps of people got involved instead of doing something more meaningful with their lives.

You can check out all the submission in this album on the triple j FB page. There are shitloads.

Stay kewl, everyone.

This is all very American-y and stuff, but…goddammit. I teared up. Brothers and sisters come a long way.

[pb_vidembed title=”” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u62OtM_vt5k” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″]

And we’ve still got a bit of a way to go.

[pb_vidembed title=”” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTsHmYIgl5s” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″]

See?

[pb_vidembed title=”” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SFdUJLebzU” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″]

Read Tim’s blog about how this song got cut from UK TV here. It also features a column on why he told his daughter that Santa “is real…in the imaginary world”.

I met Tim once and he was very nice. Yay us.

Merry Christmas, heathens!

If you’re on the road or simply bored of hearing Aunty Denise’s knitting sagas, tune in to triple j from 10am and you’ll hear myself and old mate Alex Dyson playing our favourite moments from doing breakfast in 2011, as well as a shitload of tasty tunes.

It will be as adorable as the above photo.

Check out your local frequency here.

How can you tell your mate is an Aussie Muslim?

He’s always facing Macca.

–

I don’t think nice guys necessarily finish last, but I do think hot guys are cheating.

–

I think I’d be a bad parent. I know I’d look at my newborn and my immediate thought would be: “Oh…one day I’m going to catch you wanking.”

–

“Of course, I was into GaGa BEFORE she was on Letterman…” #ConversationsFromTheMonstersHallQueue

“Wow – you’re so good at doing the Little Monsters arm claw!” “I had a stroke.” #ConversationsFromTheMonstersHallQueue

“What’s that smell?” “My meat dress.” “I think it’s gone off.” “FUCK YOU I WAS BORN THIS WAY!” #ConversationsFromTheMonstersHallQueue

–

Urgh, just went to the WORST event ever. Such a shame; I thought Tanya’s “I Lost All My Numbers” Party would be a riot.

–

Genuine line from Shane Bourne’s Wikipedia article: “He was also in a few episodes of Prisoner”. #Logies

–

I think it’s totally appropriate that the Herald Sun is the major sponsor for #MICF2011; it’s been providing punchlines for years.

–

Hey when I open my sperm donation centre, remind me to name it “Get A Load Of This!”.

–

I feel sorry for Jordan Paris; every comedian steals material. I’m always stealing Mr. Methane’s jokes, particularly after I eat eggs.

–

Trying to pick an outfit for tonight’s Odd Future gig. Should I wear my “Choose Life” T-Shirt or my strapless dress?

–

Reading Christopher Hitchens’ memoir. He describes an American cafe’s English muffin as “a travesty of both Englishness and muffindom”.

–

Saw #Sourcecode. I can handle alternate realities inside people’s minds, but I found the whole “Russell Peters is funny” thing unrealistic.

–

“Fred Durst” sounds like something from Shakespeare, but Fred Durst doesn’t.

–

I really hope that when I get cancer from using my phone too much people will be able to tell it’s iPhone 4 cancer.

–

#OsamaBinLaden #thuglife

–

I think the Bali Boy deserves our compassion. 14-year-olds think Lee Harding is a good idea, and we let them off with a warning.

–

Really, dead Christians? Not ONE of you is live tweeting heaven?

–

If I was a celebrity chef, I’d call myself The Nombudsman.

–

I’m tipping Yusuf Islam to play #OsamabinLaden in the biopic. Against his will.

–

(During an episode of ABC’s “Q & A” in Albury-Wadonga)

“Our next question is from Finkle McStrawbones.” “My question is for all them shiny lights youse have – what in tarnation are ye???” #qanda

–

It’s official: America is mightier than prolonged kidney disease. #BinLaden

–

Someone invited me to the #FB event “Get the official DISLIKE button now!” 5 times and I don’t know how to express my annoyance at that.

–

You’re right, @JimWallaceACL: the Australia our servicemen and women fought for didn’t endorse gay rights or Islam. Or the metric system.

–

If I asked Morrissey out and he said, “I haven’t got a stitch to wear”, I’d be like, “Fuck off – I’ve seen your suits.”

–

“Hey funky *cool* kids!?!? Don’t forget about THIS event you’ve never heard of – it’s set to be a BLAST! \^o^/” – PR Twitter accounts

–

When it comes to labeling shower taps in hotel rooms, I appreciate subtlety.

–

Having lunch with my Gran. She’s got a real knack for connecting anyone she talks about to either PROBUS or the fact that they’re dead.

–

If Tarantino directed #The3Ninjas, Tum Tum would be filled with shame because of his weight problem and perform seppuku.

–

If you enjoy urolagnia, all hours are the wee hours.

–

No, Facebook spam-bots, I do NOT dream of making easy money from home, if I did I would offer cat daycare or become a drug dealer.

–

Book clubs must find it really hard to talk about “Fight Club”.

–

When I want someone to stop talking to me, I simply glaze over and say slowly and clearly, “Tom has now left the conversation”.

–

Kim Jong-Il’s body to be donated to science to help make Cunt Bomb.

–

(On December 21st) 

Only four more sleeps until I have to remember all my cousins’ babies names!

–

My twitter can be found here.