Very proud of the Strayan comedy community today. 100 comics have leant their names to this open letter calling for the government to not deport 267 people seeking asylum (including 37 babies) from Australia.
Dear Rich White Men Who Are In Charge Of Things,
We the undersigned are professional dickheads. Between us, we have decades of experience in getting away with making people laugh and acting like it’s a respectable living. We say swears and we talk about genitals and farts and Facebook and first world problems and we wear silly costumes and shout our opinions at drunken hecklers in pubs and bars and tents across this great nation.
We ain’t no high-falutin’ city lawyers. We don’t know heaps about the constitution or the intricate details of the Migration Act or international conventions on human rights.
Indeed, many of us often fail to use the English words good and stuff.
But we know when something isn’t funny. At one time or another we’ve all delivered a line that we think is SOLID GOLD, only to be met with deafening silence. This is known as “bombing” or “comic death”. It is the worst possible experience for a comedian. Bombing elicits a sudden and powerful sensation of overwhelming dread and shame. It immediately compels you to reconsider all of your life choices and makes you want to go home and curl up into a little ball and nuzzle a bottle of wine and cry.
To us, the idea of deporting vulnerable people seeking asylum to Nauru to face the very things they sought protection from is a really, really bad joke. Like, no good. At all. We understand that the recent decision by the High Court technically makes this sort of thing legal, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth pursuing. Other things that are legal include smoking and wearing Crocs.
Come on, bros: we’re talking about 37 babies here. You politicians are supposed to kiss babies, not deport them.
As people who wear our hearts on our sleeve and who are often cynical about most things, we’re appealing to your decency and your humanity and asking you to let these people remain in Australia. Here in the community they can receive the support they need, begin to rebuild their lives and hey, maybe even come on down to a comedy show to laugh their cares away.
Yes, it is a super sticky area of public policy. But even we professional dickheads can see this isn’t the way to go about it.
Trust us, Prime Minister Turnbull and Minister Dutton – there’s nothing funny about this shemozzle.
Please get to work on some new material ASAP.
We say: #LetThemStay.