thank you for clicking on the ‘bio’ section of this website. i appreciate it because it allows me to talk at length about my achievements in the world of comedy and the media without sounding self-indulgent because you’ve asked for it and sought it out so it’s your own stupid fault if you get bored or at any point you start thinking, “geez, this guy’s got tickets on himself, hasn’t he?”.
suck it up, bitch.
basically i am a comedian who gets to perform the ancient art of stand-up comedy all around the country and who also gets to talk on the radio on a regular basis. i began performing stand-up in the melbourne international comedy festival’s class clowns competition when i was in high school but i never won it which has left me with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy and bitterness so let’s move on.
i was a national finalist in raw comedy 2006 and, based on that performance (which included a joke about my small penis!), i was approached by the hip and funky managers at national youth radio network triple j and they offered me some airtime and i hope they don’t regret making that decision.
in 2008 i got to be in the micf’s comedy zone – a showcase of up-and-coming comedic talent – alongside my funny friends jack druce, jacques barrett and lila tillman. in 2009 my silly friend alex dyson and i took over the weekend breakfast show on triple j and i performed my debut solo stand-up show, tom ballard is what he is. that show was nominated for a golden gibbo award (which is apparently for shows that “buck trends and pursue the artist’s ideas more strongly than [they] pursue any commercial lure”, which is funny because i was quite focussed on raking in some sweet cash from the suckers in the audience at the time) and saw me become the youngest person ever to win the prestigious melbourne airport best newcomer award.
i’ve since performed at the montreal just for laughs comedy festival, the edinburgh festival fringe, the melbourne fringe festival and comedy festivals in brisbane, sydney, adelaide and perth.
alex and i are now privileged enough to do the weekday breakfast show on triple j under the downright unoriginal name of “tom and alex”. it is a lot of good old-fashioned fun and worth getting up at 4am for.
you may have seen me wearing make-up and telling jokes on good news week, spicks’n’specks, adam hills in gordon street tonight, can of worms, the circle, ad/bc, triple jtv, abc’s the drum or as co-host of abc tv’s broadcast of raw comedy 2011 with my nice friend hannah gadsby. i regulalry appear as the project’s resident expert and i fortnightly pretend to get angry and know things about issues.
in 2011 i released a dvd of my is what he is show and a half-hour special from that taping screened on abc2 as part of the warehouse comedy festival.
that’s pretty much it, apart from the fact that i suffer from eczema, i have fluctuating weight issues, i contracted scabies in the spring of 2010 and i am a gay.
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[Ballard’s] material, most importantly, absolutely kills…It’s tightly paced, it’s perfectly delivered and it’s funny as hell…
TimeOut Sydney
consistently, acutely hilarious…
Herald Sun
…excellent, unflinching and at times brutally funny…[Ballard’s] natural poise and charming on-stage persona means he appears likely to have a long career ahead…
The Age
…a comedian rightly being touted as one of Australia’s finest new talents…
Chortle [UK]